well its a nice thing to know that i'm able to wait to do things until i know im ready, i just hate it when it inconviences other people
im glad that im mature enough to admit that im not mature enough to do somethings, and mature enough to admit that some of the things, no, many of the things i do are incredibly stupid cop outs, probably just to get attention,
but i wish that i was mature enough to stop doing said stupid cop outs just to reassure myself of other's feelings about me
on another note
the other day i managed to bitch out this person for talking about somebody behind their back, i was pretty proud of myself, im not gonna lie, so i've decided to make a habit of watching who i talk about and standing up for people who aren't there to stand up for themselves, i wish it was for a more noble reason than it gave me a rush, but at least im making an effort to improve myself.
sometimes at night i get this insane urge to talk to some one because all these thought build up in my head, but the problem is i dont always know what the thoughts are, so i try to call some one that i know gets me and can tell me whats going on...but it never works out, and then in the morning i've lost any grasp i had on those thoughts..like they've spilled out on my pillow when i sleep,
its quite frustrating, because for all i know, i may be trying to think the meaning of life and now the meaning of life very well might be all over my pillow
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I can tell from reading your posts that you are a thinker. Keep thinking and examining. I know, sometimes it gets old and you just want to veg, but it's people like you who end up making big discoveries in this life.
Hang in there. You won't always be in this phase of your life...
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