go on

i dont like things that make me feel bad
realizing as i take a very leisurely happy shower this morning that i have to go back home today makes me feel bad
knowing that i use controlling, logical measures to suppress any inconvienient(sp?) feelings makes me feel bad
knowing that i drink and all that "partying" business because all you know when you're doing that is the moment, all i can think about then is the "fun" i'm having, that makes me feel bad.
knowing that i push people away in order to protest myself from them, and to protect them from me even though i know that part of having relationships with others is allowing yourself to get hurt and forgiving makes me feel bad