today my mom told me i didn't deserve to have any input in our conversation, a converstaion that involved her yelling at me about things that didn't actually happen, and since i didn't deserve to have any input or make my point i couldn't explain so now im eing punished not only for those things that didn't happen, but for "fussing" at her about making my point. i dont mean to be idly bitching about how "unfair" my mom is, or how "she just doesn't get me". it just ocurred to me while i was sitting in my room crying because she made me feel so worthless and shitty that maybe that could be the root of some of my self image issues, that maybe throughout the past couple of years, as she's told me that it didn't matter what i thought since i was the child, or that i dont deserve to contribute to our conversations/arguments, or that she doesn't feel like talking to me right now...i kinda wish she wouldn't say things like that
but im pretty sure she's contributed to me always thinking im not good enough
what can you do though?
1 comment:
Your thoughts are valid and a healthy parent takes time to hear what their kids have to say. My parents were very similar to what you have described here. I remember the pain of never feeling like I was being heard.
You are becoming your own person. Sometimes that very hard for parents to accept, but accept it they must. No parents are perfect.
Yours probably care, they just never learned how to listen because their parents never listened to them either. It's the generational effect.
Anyway, someday if you decide to be a parent, you will be able to do better because of what you have seen...
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