character flaw?

i had a nice day today
i think i may have taken a few nice pictures and had a small adventure while attempting those pictures

but what i've been thinking recently is about expressing yourself
i find that those who express themselves are simply trying to find their "identity" to quote the play we're studying in english
i also find that most people who are trying to find their "identity" clearly have no idea who they are--only a will to find that out
but they also tend to be the most creative people for all their efforts to find where they fit in
creative people are generally revered by society as having some gift-- is that gift their inability to define theirselves?
and is that necessarily a bad thing, not knowing who you are?
if it is then why doesn't everyone admire those who go quietly through life, not disturbing anyone because they are comfortable with themsleves enough not to need the spotlight that these creative people need?
uncertainty is considered a character flaw--the inability to make a decision, whether based ooon facts or feelings, is looked down upon for the most part
i dont want to come down on creative people--not in the least--i mostly consider myself to be fairly creative
or i try to--because the thing is
i am entirely unsure of my identity
and maybe the beauty of that uncertainty is that i try different things
that everyone who can't make that decision of who they are tries different things
that supposed character flaw is what gives the world its actors, actresses, dancers, sculptors, painters, pianists, cellists, street performers, and what have you

so i say thank you, uncertainty
you have kept me from a comfortable existance, a planned life, knowing who i am and what i want to do,
you make my life hell some days, you make alot of people lives hell every day
you've caused slit wrists, too many pills, abortions, zoloft, and anorexia

but i love you for
the frieda kahlos
the salvador dalis
the monets
the van goghs
the elliot smiths
the mozarts
the lord byrons
the dead manic depressive crazies that made/make the world a prettier place


i. love. you.

i think