today i learned how to be dissapointed in other people
again
and myself
i really want to be the person i used to be, i want to be able to forgive the stupid things that won't matter in 10 years, however, im finding myself more and more caught up in little things, in things that can't possibly matter and on a logical level--i know that and im telling myself that constantly, but, apparently, i have multiple personalities. one of which is crazy emotional and teenager-y and angsty and willing to get caught up in stupid drama. maybe thats just a byproduct of all the emotions i've suppressed over the years, and my poor little logic-controlled head is trying to get back at me for the emotional neglect i have put it through in the past.
what a self-betrayal

and here i was hoping that only the intelligent, logical level of my personality would know that i was being suppressive.
unfortunatley i know myself better than i thought i did

dammit